


Changes

by K_Hanna_Korossy



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 00:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5847475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_Hanna_Korossy/pseuds/K_Hanna_Korossy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've all changed since becoming part of SG-1. Sam just needs to figure out if it's for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes

 

First published in  _New Worlds & False Gods 4 _(2001)

 

Samantha Carter, Major, USAF, got out of her car with an extra spring in her step. The Air Force was her home and she loved it, but sometimes it was nice to get out for the day and _indulge_. The spa had kneaded, soaked, rubbed, and buffed every square inch of her, and she felt like a new woman. Apparently, others noticed, too. Climbing the steps of the old library, she grinned back at the appreciative glance a teenage boy gave her as he passed her on his way down the stairs.

Daniel had no doubt spent the day in a more typical way for him, buried in the ancient manuscripts section of the library, and another day Sam would have envied him the quiet study time. He’d even invited her along when she’d dropped him off that morning. But she had no regrets. Besides, no doubt he’d regale her all the way back to the base with descriptions of what he’d come across. With her father off in some unknown part of the galaxy and a job that took her to a different planet each week, there were still a few reassuring constants in Sam’s life, and her SG-1 teammates were one of them.

The library was massive, an imposing stone and concrete structure. It seemed unusual for a small town out in the west, but ties with the neighboring university had increased its collection to a very respectable size. Scholars across the state came there to do research, and it had easily become one of Daniel’s favorite off-duty hangouts. Sam needed no directions to the manuscripts wing, having dragged her friend out of there on more than one past occasion. With a smile at the librarian at the front desk, she headed toward the back corner of the large building.

“I still can’t believe it’s you! I am so glad to see you.”

Sam would have ignored the young, female voice except that it was a few degrees louder than expected in a quiet library, and was coming from exactly where Sam was headed. She rounded one tall shelf of books, passing beside another shelf, this one of bound manuscripts. There were a maze of them separating the section from the rest of the library.

“It’s good to see you, too. I’m glad everything’s going so well.”

That was Daniel’s voice, and Sam hesitated at the edge of the final row. One more turn and she’d be upon Daniel and the woman, and she was reluctant to intrude. On the other hand, standing there and waiting them to finish was eavesdropping. Sam began to move again.

“I’ve gotta say, Daniel, you’ve changed, you know that? I almost didn’t recognize you at first. The last time I saw you, it was...like there was this fire under your feet. A spark in your eye. I don’t know, I guess it sounds silly, but it’s just like you grew up or something. You’re sure everything’s okay?”

Sam froze in place.

“I’m...fine, Liz, really. It hasn’t all been easy, but I’m doing okay.”

There was an edge of fatigue in Daniel’s voice, the weight of all he wasn’t saying but that Sam knew too well: a brief stint in an asylum while under the influence of Machello’s inventions, near-death and even death and rebirth several times over, the prolonged search for and eventual loss of his wife. Things he couldn’t even begin to explain to a friend outside of Stargate Command, no matter how far back they went.

“Well...all right. But I’m doing a year of resident teaching here at the school and I’ll be in the area until June. I’d really like to see you again before then, hear all about what you’ve been doing.” A pensive laugh. “Find out what doused the fire. You’re not the same Daniel Jackson I used to know.”

Sam chewed on her lip. So much for not listening; she was hardly breathing in order to catch what they were saying. And not liking at all what she heard.

“Everyone changes, Liz--you, too. Look at you, married and a full professor!”

There was a hint of wistfulness in his tone that made Sam wince. But she recognized a diversionary tactic when she heard one, Daniel having deftly changed the subject. Sure enough, the rest of the conversation was about the woman--Liz’s--teaching position. A minute later, they were trading good-byes and light footsteps disappeared in the opposite direction.

Sam drew herself up. This was silly, hiding behind the bookshelves. The least she could have done would have been to make herself known before Daniel’s friend left and introduce herself. Daniel would probably realize how much she’d heard the moment he saw her face. Well, no use prolonging it. Lifting her chin, she rounded the last corner and found Jackson just collecting a sheaf of papers into his bag.

He barely glanced at her. “Oh, good, Sam, I’m glad you’re here. I was just finishing up.”

“Great,” she said, her voice falsely cheerful to her own ears.

Daniel didn’t seem to notice. His notes stuffed haphazardly away as was his style, he buckled the bag and looked up, his gaze as much on the shelves behind her as they were on Sam. “All set.”

“Okay,” she said, stepping aside as he led the way out. Unusual silence fell as they wended their way out through the rows. “Did you find anything interesting?” Sam finally ventured.

“A little,” was the vague response. Another long pause as they reached the front of the library and went out the doors, down the steps. Daniel cleared his throat. “How was your day?”

“Good,” Sam said quickly, nodding. “It was...fun.” They got into the car.

“That’s good.” But Daniel’s voice was becoming distant, his gaze fixed on the windshield as his mind wandered elsewhere. Sam was used to that look, one Daniel seemed to fall into from one moment to the next when he was caught up in a new idea or problem. She had to wonder, though, if this time he was thinking about the materials in the library, or the woman he’d met there.

She stole quiet glances at her oblivious passenger while they drove. Liz had been right--Daniel had changed. From day to day it wasn’t obvious, but comparing him now to the exuberant, lively young scientist she first met, the difference was drastic. That young Daniel had been unable to sit still for long, bursting with ideas and the energy to explore them, eyes alight. She hadn’t known then whether to be amused or impressed, but most of the ideas had been brilliant and his vigor catching, and working with Jackson then had been like a rollercoaster ride.

Now...it was as if the years he’d defied had caught up with him. Daniel sat slumped in the passenger seat, mired in thoughts that no longer excited him. Fatigue had carved lines into the boyish face, and responsibility sat like a phantom weight on his shoulders. His eyes gave away the real difference, though. They were had aged far more than the few years since he and Sam had met, wisened at the cost of innocence. The pain had always been there, even years before, though Sam hadn’t known him well enough to see it then, but the sorrow was new. Daniel had changed, drastically, and Sam hadn’t even noticed.

Was any job worth that price?

Troubled by her own thoughts and Daniel lost in his, they rode the rest of the way to Cheyenne Mountain in total silence.

 

At the base, Daniel briefly thanked her and then left to go to his own quarters. With a mission the next morning, all of them were spending the night at the SGC in their assigned base quarters. As much as Sam preferred her own little condo, her quarters, decorated liberally with pictures by Cassandra and momentos from past missions, had become home away from home. She stashed her overnight bag next to the single bureau and then wandered out into the common area to see who else was around.

Not many, it turned out. Several of the teams were off-world on long-term missions, several others away on R&R. SG-9 was on base for a diplomatic mission to begin the next day, though only Lt. Shiani was there from the team, watching TV. Most of the members of SG-5, on-duty but currently between missions, were also gathered there in one corner playing poker. And sitting near them at a discrete distance but watching them like a hawk was Teal’c, sitting stiffly in a chair even while he was supposedly relaxing. At Sam’s entrance, he gave her a long nod.

Sam nodded back, digging her hands down into her pockets. She didn’t usually spend much time in the rec area unless she came with someone to talk or just relax, rare as that was, and she wasn’t quite sure what she was doing there. Sam couldn’t honestly have expected that Daniel would show up; he visited the rec room even less frequently than she, his idea of recreation more along the lines of reading archaeological journals. And while the colonel could be a good sounding board, she wasn’t sure she wanted to concern Jack with her vague concerns. As seriously as he took anything that affected his team’s performance or its members, O’Neill often seemed more comfortable facing a team of armed Jaffa than talking about personal issues.

Shaking her head at the unhelpful train of thought, Sam settled into one of the plush chairs near the center of the room and leaned back with a sigh, trying to recapture the rejuvenated feeling of a few hours before.

“Major Carter?”

Teal’c’s deep voice startled her into raising her head, and she blinked at the Jaffa calmly standing next to her.

“Forgive my interruption. May I join you?”

“Uh, sure, Teal’c.” Sam sat up straight. “What’s up?”

She hid a smile as Teal’c gave the ceiling an aborted glance before apparently realizing what she meant. Taking a seat next to her in that same rigid position he always seemed to be in, Sam could nonetheless see his expression relax. Another change over time; a few years ago she had thought her alien teammate was all but emotionless, unable then to read the minute shifts in the Jaffa’s expression that were obvious to her now.

Not all changes were for the bad.

“I do not understand this game,” Teal’c inclined his head toward the poker group. “The goal of acquiring the best arrangement of cards is clear, but there seems to be a considerable amount of...deceit involved as to whether they have such an arrangement or not.”

Sam grinned. “That’s part of the game, Teal’c. It’s called ‘bluffing’--you have to figure out if your opponent really has a good hand or if he’s just bluffing you.”

Teal’c’s wide face drew into a scowl. “There does not seem to be much skill involved in this game, unlike the ‘chess’ O’Neill has introduced me to.”

Jack played chess? Who’d have thought. Her C.O. never ceased to surprise her. But Sam couldn’t help laughing at Teal’c’s other statement. “Oh, trust me, there’s a lot of skill involved in poker.” At the Jaffa’s continued doubtful expression, she added, “Why don’t you ask the colonel about it? I’m sure he could explain it to you better than I could.” Jack was always subtle about it, but Sam knew that he regularly worked on introducing Teal’c to different aspects of human life, and was far more patient in his explanations than he’d have wanted anyone to know. It was a side to O’Neill that his other two teammates were well aware of even while they pretended not to notice.

Teal’c inclined his head in tacit agreement, his eyes again on the poker players. Lt. Shiani got tired of the television and left the room, Sam watching her go. That left only the poker players, far too engrossed in their game to pay attention to those around them.

Well, why not? Sam cocked her head at her teammate and asked conversationally, “Teal’c, do you think Daniel’s changed since you first met him?”

Teal’c turned back to look at her with that unfathomable, intent expression. “In what manner?”

Sam shrugged. “Just generally. Do you think he’s different now than he used to be?”

“Does not everyone change over time, Major Carter?” was the steady response.

“I don’t mean like that, Teal’c.” She shook her head. “I mean...does it seem to you like Daniel’s...personality has changed in the last few years?”

Teal’c seemed to give that some thought. “I believe Daniel Jackson has grown more serious since I have known him. He has become a soldier as well as a scholar. He has lost his wife and has gone through considerable hardship. Such things change a man, make him wiser if he learns from them, and simply older if he does not.”

That was interesting. “Do you think he has?” Sam asked.

“I believe you know the answer to that as well as I, Major Carter. If Daniel Jackson had not learned, I do not believe he would still be with the SGC.”

She _had_ known that, but hearing Teal’c say it seemed to make it so simple. Sam hesitated, reorganizing her thoughts. What exactly was she asking? “I know he’s gotten stronger--” and a lot less tentative and or as much of a pushover; the Daniel of four years before would not have argued as confidently what he believed as the one she knew now. And while becoming a soldier had made him more hard-edged and less innocent, it had also made him safer and more aware, a must on their missions. “--but don’t you think he’s lost some of the...spark he used to have?”

Teal’c’s eyebrow rose. “‘Spark’?” he repeated dubiously.

Her mouth softened. “Life. Enthusiasm.”

“I do not.”

That was it? Sam frowned at him, not sure what to make of that. “Why not?” she hedged.

“Daniel Jackson is not new to sorrow, but he has learned and experienced much since joining the SGC. He has become more serious, his enthusiasm tempered. This is not a loss, but rather a gain, much as a child grows to become a man.”

A child into a man. She’d only known Daniel a few brief hours before he his wife was taken from him, and while his brilliance had been clear, so had been his childlike enthusiasm. Maybe losing that bounce was just natural growth, his enthusiasm only reshaped instead of outright gone.

“I have changed much in my time with Tauri,” Teal’c continued, “as have you, Major Carter. I do not believe it would be good had we not.”

“You’re probably right,” she mused. She’d changed, too? She probably had, but..., “How--?” Sam shook her head. “Never mind. Thanks, Teal’c, that helped, but I think I’m going to go bed. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” She stood, waiting to see if Teal’c would also rise to leave.

But the Jaffa just inclined his head. “Good-night, Major Carter. I believe I shall stay to see the end of this game of ‘buffing’.”

Sam cracked up. “That’s ‘bluffing’. ‘Buffing’ is...well, something else.”

“Indeed.” Teal’c inclined his head in thanks for the correction, and then his attention was back on the game.

Sam was halfway to her quarters before realizing there had been a gleam of humor in Teal’c’s eye, and that it was very possible she’d just been had. She shook her head, amusement changing to wonder. Amazing, Teal’c teasing her to lighten the mood.

The last few years together had indeed changed them all.

 

Jack O’Neill was the first through the gate, as usual. In the beginning, Sam had thought that was bravado. That was before it had dawned on her that he wanted to face any danger first before putting his team out to it. She followed, now Daniel right behind her and Teal’c bringing up the rear.

The planet, “melodically named P3X-557”--Jack’s words--was a desert planet, one of several they’d been to. The MALP had shown no sign of life and their assignment was simple: confirm the absence of natives and check out what the planet had to offer. The diplomatic unit of SG-9 and teams of botanists, chemists, archaeologists, and several other specialties awaited the word if there was anything of interest to be further studied on the planet.

From what Sam could see, though, none of them would find work on P3X-557. A steady wind raised puffs of sand as far as the eye could see in all directions. In fact, their biggest assignment seemed like it would be to keep the blowing sand out of their eyes and each other in their sights. Even without experience in Desert Storm, Sam had already had plenty of experience with desert terrain on other planets since joining the SGC and knew the basics: never go off on your own, goggles and hat on, and keep your mouth shut as much as possible.

She glanced across the platform to Daniel, who seemed to have just stopped to gaze for a moment. Even through the goggles, she could see the bittersweet look in his eyes. Drat, she hadn’t thought of that--Abydos was a desert planet, too, not unlike this one. It had to be reminding Daniel of his adopted home, and of Sha’re.

Sam reached out to pat him on the arm, and Daniel turned to look at her questioningly. She smiled at him and called out over the blowing wind, “Ready?”

The corner of Daniel’s mouth turned up and he nodded, already pulling out his notebook. Sam almost shook her head. How he could write in the wind and sand, she didn’t know, but Daniel just wouldn’t have been Daniel without trying to record every detail he saw. That hadn’t changed.

The colonel had already left the platform and gestured them to move off to the two sides to scout their standard perimeter. If they saw or found nothing, the mission would be over and the planet scratched off the list of potentials. Sam took the right, watching as Teal’c circled around behind the gate and Daniel went off to the left. His eyes were on the terrain, though, not buried in the notebook as too often in the past. Sam glanced at O’Neill, seeing that Jack had also cast a glance after Daniel, then continued on his own line of patrol.

They all knew it when Daniel found something. A startled cry sounded from behind her and Sam whirled just in time to see the archaeologist go down, all but disappearing in the clouds of sand. Without hesitation, she turned and ran back in the direction of the gate.

The colonel beat her to their teammate’s side, and Daniel was sitting up next to him, apparently unhurt, by the time Sam and Teal’c got there.

“Are you all right, Daniel Jackson?” Teal’c beat her to the question even as she crouched down in front of Jackson.

“He’s fine, just tripped over his two feet again,” O’Neill said lightly, and his tone together with Daniel’s chagrined expression, put Sam’s worry to rest. “Oh, and over this thing here,” O’Neill added.

“This thing” proved to be a flat, square stone that rose out of the desert stands like some almost-buried column. Daniel was sitting just next to it, and in tandem, he, Sam, and Teal’c all turned to examine it closer. The surface was almost smooth, worn down by sweeping sand, but the raised edges of carvings were still faintly visible. Even as Sam craned to get a better look, Daniel’s head obscured most of her view as he bent close over the stone. Fingers almost but not quite brushing the etchings, he traced the sweeping lines, his lips moving silently as he read. He seemed to have forgotten all about the rest of them. Well, at least he’d been paying attention until they regrouped, Sam thought with a fond sigh. How could she have thought Daniel had lost his passion for what he did?

“Okay, Daniel’s gone,” the colonel stood, one hand on the archaeologists shoulder as he smirked at the rest of his team. “Teal’c, Carter, you want to look around, see if you can find any more of these...” he waved his hand at the stone, “...whatevers?”

His stance was already that of guardian, the soldier in Sam noted, staying there to watch over their resident scholar while he did his thing. It was the friend in Sam, however, who knew that this was more than the team leader’s responsibility for his team. All of them had sort of adopted Daniel as a younger brother, Jack perhaps most of all. Daniel may have lost part of his family in Sha’re, but he’d also gained a whole new one

With a knowing smile tucked away so Jack wouldn’t notice, Sam joined Teal’c in fanning out to search.

 

By the time they left, they’d found five of the stones in all, each of them marked and carefully recorded by Daniel for extensive further study. The planet was earmarked for the archaeological team, and they finally got to go home for a very late lunch.

Sam spent the afternoon happily immersed in her lab, working on the schematics of a new sensor for the MALP, one they hoped would one day be able to pick up the presence of any Go’auld nearby. Jack had wandered in--twice, in fact--to try unsuccessfully to coax her into playing hooky and generally making a nuisance of himself in that way she found both exasperating and endearing. But it was only after eight that she finally convinced herself to turn off her monitor and go in search of dinner.

She wasn’t the only one dining late, as it turned out. Daniel sat alone in his usual corner of the cafeteria, eating absently while he read from a sheaf of papers. Printouts of the stones from earlier that day, no doubt, and Sam smiled as she went to gather her own tray of salad and bread, and joined her teammate.

He looked up as she slid her tray up beside his. “Sam, hi.”

“Hi. I’m surprised to see you here so late,” she returned, opening her milk carton.

“Uh, well, Jack actually sent me down here. Said something to the effect of ‘first civilian court-martial ever’ if I didn’t get some food.” His mouth twisted wryly but he didn’t look like he particularly minded the O’Neill’s behavior. “You notice he’s getting kind of bossy in his old age?”

Sam laughed. She stabbed some salad onto her fork. “I wouldn’t let him hear you say that. He still shoots better than you do.”

“Oh, yes, I forgot,” Daniel said dryly, “He might get it into his head to teach me how to shoot again.” At Jack’s insistence, Daniel Jackson had finally learned how to shoot--after a fashion--but that had only been after a decidedly arduous series of lessons that neither he nor Jack seemed anxious to be reminded of. Sam stifled another laugh.

And slowly grew serious again, remembering her earlier concerns. Sam took another bite of salad, then laid her fork down, turning back to the archaeologist with a sober look. “Daniel, are you happy here?”

Both Daniel’s eyebrows rose and he stopped in mid-chew to stare at her. “What?”

“I just...wondered if you’re still happy here. I know things haven’t always been easy and sometimes they’ve been pretty rough. Don’t you ever...regret joining the SGC?”

He put his own fork down, and the sheaf of papers. For better or for worse, Daniel’s entire attention was turned on her now, and that could be a very intent thing. Then his gaze turned inward, contemplative. “Well, I’d be lying if I said I never had any doubts and, no, I’m not always...happy, but generally I feel like I’m where I belong. I’m at peace.” His focus sharpened on her again. “Is that what you were asking?”

It was her turn to ponder that. “I guess it was,” she half-smiled at him.

“How ‘bout you?”

The question took her aback. “Me?” Sam idly twirled her fork. “I guess I’m the same way--I’ve found my place here.” She nodded. She had indeed, without even knowing she’d been looking.

“Well, good.” Daniel was smiling at her, that quiet, calm smile that reminded her anew of her thoughts about family. Then he picked up his paper pile, turning it so that she could see. “Hey, you know what I’ve translated off those stones we found today? It’s incredible--it not only records the history of the people who lived on that planet, but...”

Sam picked up her fork and began eating again, nodding politely as Daniel ran on about pre-lingual cultures and cuneiform writing. Another day she might have listened with some interest, but today she was just enjoying watching her friend expound. Maybe he wasn’t all frantic movements and rising voice anymore, but Daniel’s spark shone from the inside, deepened and rooted with age. Liz apparently hadn’t seen that, but Sam certainly could. Change was necessary, as Teal’c had said, but it didn’t have to be a bad thing. And not as long as they changed together.

Her meal done, Sam contentedly sat back to listen to the lecture and learn something new.

The End


End file.
